Uncertainty and knowledge

I hate uncertainty. And sometimes knowledge sucks. A very important man in my life, the uncle who was head pharmacist at University of Loyola Hospital in Chicago, is in the hospital with hernia complications and a systemic infection and hasn't woken up in 3 days. My Uncle George, the man our second son is named after, found my parents the best neurologist and neurosurgeon when it was discovered that I had a seizure disorder caused by a rare childhood brain tumor. I was one of the first people in the United States to undergo this surgery and my uncle found the best man for the job. Uncle George was always a great guy anyway, but he also played a special part in my childhood. Too bad I'm so far away and can't see him and Aunt Susan and my cousins more often.

I say that sometimes knowledge sucks because my parents got the story from the nurses that they found more dead bowel in him from his hernia and that leached poison into his system so he is sleeping to heal better. While it may be true that his body shut down to heal, the fact that he hasn't woken for 3 days bothers me. I keep waiting for the "coma" declaration. The only thing that comforts me is the fact that they are only giving him oxygen, not breathing for him.

It seems like just yesterday that my maternal grandfather died, the last of my grandparents. That was a killer. Ask my husband. I broke down in his arms at the funeral. I still miss Grandpa Ernie. Heck, my Aunt Pam, his daughter, died a long time ago from complications of Lupus, and I still really miss her vibrant personality. My biggest fear is that Uncle George is never going to wake up, never recover, and I won't be there to see him again before that happens. Even more than that, I won't be able to say my last goodbye. I'm an overnight drive away from Chicago and I'm 33 weeks pregnant. Every OB/GYN at my clinic is going to tell me that I can't go on a trip longer than 2 or 3 hours. I can pray all I want, but it is ultimately God's decision to call him home when He wants. I have to accept that it was the right time according to God's will, no matter how much I don't like it. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

An Odd Experience

The boys wanted to go to a park today. We didn’t really want to watch them playing on the swings for a couple hours, and Gabriel wanted to be outside, so we compromised. Afton State Park had an open house so entry was free and we figured we would walk down to the St. Croix River. The weather was good, so it seemed just like the thing to do.

High-tension electrical towers run though the state park and Afton Alps, the adjacent ski resort. We drove under the power lines and through all the parking areas to the very last one, nearest the path to the river. I parked near the walking path and we got ready for the hike. Gabriel was walking ahead of me, but everyone else was still standing by the van. All of a sudden, Gabriel yelled “Ow!” and said his neck was hurting. His neck was red on one side and the neck muscles were tightly tensed up. I was thinking it was a food allergy or a bug bite or something of that nature, but I was confused about the instant, intense pain. I touched his neck to see if it was swollen or rashy and he screamed and jumped.

I asked him some questions to figure out what was causing the redness and pain. Then I touched his neck again and noticed something I felt the first time I touched his neck, but somehow didn’t understand enough to really consider, something that I would describe as a vibration. I could feel Gabriel’s body vibrating, literally vibrating. What in the world? Here we were, just standing in the parking lot, with grass and wooded land all around us, taking in the natural surroundings when, out of the blue, Gabriel’s neck started to hurt with intense pain, and I could feel his body vibrating.

I told Heather to come right away and check him out, because I was confused about what I was seeing. So she came over and put her hand on his neck, and he screamed in pain and jumped again. Heather said the same thing; she could feel Gabriel’s body vibrating. By now, he had tears in his eyes and he was obviously scared. We just didn’t know what was going on, but he was clearly feeling intense pain and discomfort. Parents want to protect their children, and we were trying, but we couldn’t understand what was happening.

Then, it dawned on me. We were standing in the parking lot, directly under the high tension power lines. Could that somehow cause this??? I studied electronics and worked on electromechanical equipment for more than 20 years, but I never saw anything like what was happening here. Years ago, I learned that electrical conductors and power lines are surrounded by electromagnetic fields and electrical resonance. But I never heard of anything like this! I told everyone to walk to the other side of the parking lot, away from the power lines. Literally, immediately after we walked away from the vicinity of the power lines, Gabriel said his neck wasn’t hurting anymore. He could touch his neck… no pain, no discomfort at all.

Okay. This is an eye-opening experience for me. Sure, everyone has heard the story about some guy taking a fluorescent light and standing beneath a power line and the bulb lighting up. If that actually happens, I don’t know; I never tried it. But, this I can assure you: I never heard of anyone standing under a power line and experiencing a feeling of being electrocuted and the accompanying physical symptoms, e.g. muscular tension and cramping caused by contact with electricity. Maybe Gabriel is just particularly sensitive to such effects. I have no idea… that is purely speculation on my part.

I am still thinking it over, but I don’t entirely understand this. Why didn’t I feel this electromagnetic or electrical field? Why didn’t it cause me any discomfort? I can only figure it had something to do with our shoes. Maybe when we stood under the high tension power lines, Gabriel’s body somehow picked up an electrical potential, but his shoes were not well-grounded because of the rubber soles. As soon as Heather or I touched his neck, he screamed in pain and we could literally feel his body vibrating the way you feel an electrical power transformer vibrate. I figure that our shoes had better conductivity and so the electrical potential in Gabriel’s body was discharging because of our shoes, or some variation of that scenario. I am unsure why neither Heather nor I felt the electrical field effects but we both felt Gabriel’s body pulsating like electricity was passing through him.

I hated seeing Gabriel in pain, especially not understanding what was happening and how to make it stop. I wonder if anyone else has experienced this. I don’t understand how the electrical power lines caused this, but it is clear that somehow, the power lines definitely did cause it. That makes me wonder about the possible negative health-related consequences of exposure to the powerful electromagnetic fields that surround high-tension power lines.

Thank goodness we don't live particularly close to any of those gigantic high-tension power transmission towers.

Most of my drive to school is uneventful. If I have an 8am class, I don't go much above 55mph on the 2-lane stretch of Hwy 55 (Courthouse Blvd), because there are 2 cops that cross paths routinely between 7:30 and 7:45. I'm going to get seen by one of them. When it turns into a freeway, I immediately get to the left-hand lane to avoid the feeling that I'm about to get smashed by the truckers entering the freeway from 117th Street. You'd never know I drive a full-size van. Then it is a straight shot to school. All I have to do is turn down Northland Drive and cross Pilot Knob Rd. The traffic on Pilot Knob is controlled by a stoplight a little farther south, though, where there is an exit to 494. So, if you want to cross this 4-lane highway at Northland Dr, then you need to find a break in traffic and blast across or sit in the center waiting for the break from the next direction to get the rest of the way across. I hate intersections like that and what I saw today is why:

I have my usual uneventful drive until I get to the Northland/Pilot Knob intersection. As I get closer, I notice the object of my fear: a car crash and a cop directing traffic to go around the 2 cars and ambulance sitting in the median. One car isn't so bad and has pulled up on to the median on its own. The other car is pretty smashed up and is sitting up on the curb in the break in the median for turn lanes. I'd usually just shake my head and thank God it wasn't me. But usually what you see is just a couple of people exchanging insurance information and waiting for the police officer's accident report. I wasn't sure where the driver of the less-smashed car was, but that car wasn't dented enough to be concerned. To get to school, I had to go around the cop who was parked in front of the smashed car, protecting it as he directed people around and tried to help other emergency workers at the same time. I was nervous because I couldn't see around the cop that well and wanted to give him as much space as possible, like I was taught. That feeling was trumped by the incredible sadness at the scene that my eyes could not avoid: they had draped white plastic over the driver's window so no one could see the scene inside. I had the horrible feeling that the driver had died since nobody seemed to be scrambling. I cried. I don't know why, other than I was tired and it really affected me. The thought ran through my head that I was glad I wasn't studying emergency medicine because I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with what I thought I saw in front of me. While waiting for a string of cars to pass, I watched the cop and stared at the window. I saw an arm move and looked more closely. In the back seat was an emergency worker in a very uncomfortable position with his hands near the head rest. I realized that he was attempting to put a cervical collar on the driver's neck. I was relieved, though this made me cry too. I finally saw enough of a break in the traffic that I decided to go. I sent up a prayer for the injured person and the safety of the brave people trying to help him, while the scene stayed in my mind all through my first class.

I don't know why it affected me like that, other than the fact that a scene like that is exactly why I look both ways twice and race across that road to the safety of the other side. I guess I have a healthy awareness of the possible results of my dash across a relatively busy road.